There’s a fine line between making a joke and being the joke. I have long subscribed to a saying attributed to the 16th century preacher John Bradford, “There, but for the grace of God, go I.” I try to keep this in mind and regulate my mockery of those to whom I may feel superior. … Continue reading I’m not as smart as I think I am
One of the hazards of my line of work is that I often find myself in the company of mascots. How can you not love Petey? He's a petrel. He's got amazing moves. He likes Chick fil-A chicken biscuits. I have grown more comfortable interacting with mascots over time, but in my early years, I … Continue reading Let’s hear it for the mascots
My ambivalence toward college football has reached new heights. I don’t even know how to calculate which week of the season it is, but in real time, they have been playing college football games since August 29, which was classified by ESPN as “Week 0.” (This nonsensical measurement of time is in the same category … Continue reading I can’t quit college football
When we first moved to Lilburn, Ga., way back in “aught three,” we developed a metric to identify when it would feel like home: My Darling Beloved and I knew Lilburn was home when we took our then two-year-old son, Barron, to Bruster’s for an ice cream and saw someone we knew. I can’t recall … Continue reading Seeing people you know
Last Friday night as I sat on my comfy sofa in my air conditioned house, I turned to my Darling Beloved and said, “Do you know where we would have been at this exact time four years ago?” “In a football stadium somewhere sweating to death?” “Something like that.” August is the worst climatological point … Continue reading Retired band parents
I don’t know about you, but I’m a little rusty when it comes to Shakespeare. Ol’ Willie Shakes and I have a history. We had some issues over “Macbeth” back in college (a long and hilarious story for another time), but I relied on his Sonnet 116 to propose to my Darling Beloved. A few … Continue reading Brush up Your Shakespeare
I am living a nightmare. You know the one in which you find yourself on stage or in front of a class or maybe even in a boardroom, performing, lecturing or presenting and you suddenly realize you are in your underwear, or, even worse, completely naked? (I believe the technical term is “naked as a … Continue reading In the spotlight
Another week, another last first day of school in the Wallace family. Last week, we sent Carlton back to school for his senior year of high school. Today, my Darling Beloved and I send our middle son, Harris, packing for his senior year at Mercer University. Every college student needs a good suit and a … Continue reading Back to school part two: Harris’s senior year
Carlton's senior portrait I’ll spare you the passage of time cliches and just leave it at, “I am astounded that my youngest son will begin his senior year of high school this week.” There are still many miles to go on this journey, but I cannot pretend this week doesn’t mark another significant milestone. It’s … Continue reading Back to school part one: Carlton’s senior year
We at New South Essays have made it our mission to keep you informed of events that both reflect and impact contemporary Southern culture. Such a moment occurred last night (July 24, 2026) when Nashville stand-up comedian Brian Bates dropped his long-awaited, highly-anticipated 30-minute special “Worried” on the Nateland YouTube channel. (Oh, and did I … Continue reading Don’t ‘worry,’ Brian Bates’ new comedy special delivers
