Working remotely or remotely working?

I do not like to work remotely.

You may be following the news out of Amazon these days, even if you mistakenly click on a headline thinking it was an update on one of your package deliveries. On Sept. 16, Amazon CEO Andy Jassy sent a memo to employees that sent reverberations throughout the world: We are strengthening our culture.

But that’s not what’s got everybody all stirred up. Exactly 905 words into the 1,412-word memo, Mr. Jassy says everyone’s coming back to the office, ending the pandemic-era practice of remote work. This news hasn’t been well received. He lays out “reasons” and “ratios” and other buzzwords, but the bottom line is there are no more five days a week of working in your pajamas.

The difference between Amazon’s decree and my personal feelings is that I don’t like working remotely… for me. But I understand I do not hold an especially popular opinion on this subject. I reserve my eccentricities for my own habits. I do not frown on my team members taking advantage of remote working options available to them. I encourage them to work remotely as needed, not to exceed two days per week unless there are special circumstances.

My life has included back-to-back weeks of special circumstances, reminding me of why I don’t like working remotely.

Two weeks ago my employer, like most in Atlanta, moved to remote working on Thursday and Friday because of the anticipated impact of Hurricane Helene. While we were largely spared in our neck of the woods, so many more people have not been, including, surprisingly, some very hard hit areas in Western North Carolina. (Hang in there, Bob and Faith!)

This week (please excuse the HIPAA violation) Carla had her eyeballs lasered. On Thursday morning, she had Laser-Assisted In Situ Keratomileusis, better known as LASIK. It all went great, and she’s already decided that seeing my face more clearly has its downsides. However, driving afternoon carpool was out of the question for her, at least until her follow-up visit on Friday cleared her. (New South Essay PSA: If you can’t see, don’t drive.) 

In back-to-back weeks I worked the allowed two days from home. It was convenient, and I was incredibly productive on projects that required my focus, like writing prize-winning stories for the Oglethorpe University news site, drafting my report to the Board of Trustees and creating an integrated marketing communications plan for the new career communities initiative. (Someone please forward this post to my boss.) I can’t argue with the results of remote working.

There are other benefits:

I get to be around Carla. Ours is a relationship based on proximity. She likes me to be close. Well, not that close. Being in the same house seems to be her preferred arrangement.

I have no commute. I’m going on record to officially say Atlanta traffic is worse now than it was pre-pandemic. (This just in… New South Essays says Atlanta traffic is bad! Film at 11…) Even my commute from Lilburn to Brookhaven has increased by 10-15 minutes in the morning and 20-30 minutes in the afternoon. It’s noticeable, and it’s exhausting.

I spend less money. Driving my automobile costs money in fuel and maintenance. Not driving my automobile costs considerably less. I am no financial wizard, but it seems to work in my favor to not work from the office.

Despite those considerations, I don’t like working from home. Here are my reasons:

I am extroverted. By definition extraversion means I get my energy from being around people. If we go to a dinner party, Carla comes home exhausted, and I’m wound up. Going to the office, or in my case, the campus, is amazing because there’s all of these… victims I get to interact with and drain the life force from to feed my own need for energy. Wait, that didn’t come out right…

I’m a people person. I generally like interacting with people. Some folks can be Debbie Downers, but even then, I like the challenge of giving the negative people something to brighten their day, like a witticism or a bad pun. One of my colleagues says I bring “Dad energy” to my interactions. I’d say that’s accurate.

I’m less distracted. Yes, there are more meetings, and there are all the humans I referenced above, but when I’m at home I tend to think about all the chores that need to be done. I even invent new chores because I can see from my home office desk that the underside of the dining room table needs dusting. Very distracting.

As described in last week’s very special post about empty nesting, my house isn’t full of children like it was when I was working remotely during the pandemic, so they don’t distract me. Our dog, Winston, however, is a huge distraction. At least when he’s not sleeping 23-and-a-half hours a day. I’m his bathroom buddy. He only interacts with me when he needs to go out or wants Honey Nut Cheerios. When I’m on a Teams meeting, he stands in front of my desk, glares at me and yells “Take me out!” or sometimes, “Give some Honey Nut Cheerios!” He doesn’t actually say the words, but I can tell what he’s trying to communicate.

I get behind on my podcasts. The one upside to my commute is I get to listen to 4,328 podcasts. It makes me super interesting at the aforementioned dinner parties because I start every sentence with, “In this podcast I listen to, I recently learned…” Carla especially loves my helpful factoids and life hacks. Then again, maybe this is why her preferred distance from me is out of earshot…

I snack more. When I’m at the office, I eat lunch precisely at noon and have coffee in the vicinity of 3 p.m. And I’m good. When I’m at home, I’m like a hobbit eating breakfast, second breakfast, elevenses, luncheon, afternoon tea, dinner and supper all during the workday. It’s not healthy.

Even with all of these very good reasons, the biggest reason I do not like to work remotely is…

It reminds me of the COVID pandemic. That was not a good time, and I do not like to think about it. The fear and isolation was bad for my mental health and for my children’s. I was irritable and angry and stressed out the entire time. I worried about the health of my extended family, several of whom were in the vulnerable categories. It was not a good time. Returning to the office when the lockdown ended was an adjustment, but it didn’t take me long to get back into the swing of things.

I don’t know about Amazon’s ratio of managers to front-line workers or company culture or efficient processes, but I do know what being in-person means to culture. The key for Amazon’s implementation of back-to-the-office will be how much time Mr. Jassy works remotely. It’s not the edicts that undermine your leadership, it’s the hypocrisy.

I plan on continuing to work from the office as much as possible. If I don’t, I’ll just be at home where I encounter one of Mr. Jassy’s employees or contractors a dozen times a day delivering us packages.