Apparently there are filters on my email and social media accounts preventing any content from getting through without the words “gift guide” appearing somewhere in the text, meta description or ALT tag. This is the season of giving, and to help me prepare, my algorithm and the host of online retailers with whom I’ve ever … Continue reading The official guide to gift guides
The element of surprise contributes mightily to the joy and wonder of Christmas. My celebration this year has been largely devoid of this crucial component thanks to technology. That’s right, efficient and convenient online tools have robbed me of another of life’s simple pleasures. I have very inefficiently and inconveniently labored to counteract these tools … Continue reading Not-so-secret Santa
Don’t “@me.” I know what “literally” means. It means “figuratively.” It used to mean “literally” but people don’t know what words mean anymore, so now it means the opposite. I am using the term ironically. Anyway, I digress. My point is Christmas is coming to a home near you and quickly. Seriously. Super fast. It … Continue reading Christmas is literally tomorrow
I hate shopping. I don’t even really like Internet shopping. There is absolutely nothing appealing about Black Friday to me. I don’t believe in its philosophical underpinnings. I don’t understand its attraction. I don’t acknowledge its existence. But like someone chasing a ghost or questing for grainy 8 millimeter footage of Big Foot, I set out … Continue reading In search of Black Friday
New South Essays 