There aren’t enough hours in the day to consume all of the world’s content, and it’s a problem.
It’s especially acute if you are like me and believe that entertainment is not meant to be enjoyed but completed.
“Honey, if we work hard, we can finish the latest season of ‘Virgin River’ by knocking out the last three episodes…”
Doesn’t that sound like a fun Friday night?
The flood of content at my fingertips is paralyzing. It’s enough to make you turn off the TV and read a book. But if you think there are a lot of TV shows and movies to watch out here, have you tried keeping up with books? There’s been a heap of those published since Old Gutenberg rolled out that Bible in 1455.
Many couples spend all of their viewing time scrolling to find something to watch that they both agree on. We avoid that problem by always having a TV show we’re watching from a running list. (My Darling Beloved asks me at least 89 times per week what we have on this list.)
This content management strategy isn’t novel. I’m sure it’s what everyone does these days, what with all this “prestige TV” available (and by “prestige” I mean something without too much killin’, cursin’ or smoochin’ that my Darling Beloved will agree to watch with me… And by “watch” I mean have on the TV while she scrolls social media missing all of the important plot points.)
This doesn’t even include movies, music or, the bane/balm of my existence, podcasts.
The average American spends seven hours a week listening to podcasts. This is yet another way in which I’m not “average.”
As a completionist, podcasts are particularly troublesome for me. I want to listen to all of the episodes of a lot of podcasts. When I used to commute 491 hours a week to my job, this wasn’t a problem. I had plenty of time for podcasts. Now, however, I work a convenient 20 to 30 minutes away from my home. This has severely cut back on my podcast listening time and increased the amount of time I am forced to share my feelings with Darling Beloved and have a real relationship.
It’s very taxing, and I am falling very far behind on my podcast feed. Y’all, the struggle is real. I don’t know if I can cope with all of this quality of life I’m enjoying.
I felt the pain of my podcast time crunch this week when the Public Figures podcast, formerly Nateland, finally heard my clamoring and had Southern culture influencer Landon Bryant on their show. Right there in the same studio were my Southern Comedy Mount Rushmore (minus Nate Bargatze who is now too busy for podcasting) — Brian Bates, Landon Bryant, Aaron Weber and Dusty Slay.
As an observer of contemporary Southern culture, I wanted to bask in the glory of the moment and revel in the Southern comedy cataclysm. There just wasn’t time.
Imagine me trying to fill out my weekly schedule, working in the 4.58 million podcasts (while leaving room for my 40 minutes a week of scheduled spontaneity) around the other priorities of my life, like sharing my feelings with my Darling Beloved, chauffeuring my teenager to and from rehearsals for various theatrical productions and, oh yeah, working a job to put food on the table and keep a roof over our heads.
To me, the answer is obvious: instead of all this together time with my Darling Beloved, I should sit on the couch listening to my podcasts on 3X speed. This would make my life so much better, right?
I discovered this week that my middle son, Harris, regularly listens to podcasts sped up. He tried to share a clip with the family text thread, and I could not understand what they were saying. It sounded like chipmunk gibberish. I listen to so many Southern podcasts that if you sped them up, it would probably sound like people talking normally.
But I’m not willing to tax my brain any further. I think the real solution is to change the way I view content. This may be a “me” problem. Perhaps I need to rethink my approach to completing everything.
Over the years I have pared down my podcast subscriptions out of necessity, but not willingly. Right now I’m in denial, letting the episodes pile up while I tell myself I”ll get to them someday. My friend Brian does the unthinkable: he only listens to episodes of podcasts he has particular interest in, letting the rest in his feed go by. I don’t think I am capable of that.
I had a pivotal moment this week when I almost gave up on podcasts all together. Quit cold turkey, like I did with previous obsessions fantasy football, marathons and Hot Pockets. Those deletions improved my life, but it took a lot for me to confront the truth.
One day, I will be a normal person who can just do things I enjoy when I want to enjoy them. I know my Darling Beloved sure would like it if I could make that adjustment sooner rather than later.
I bet there’s a podcast out there that can help. I’ll find it and add it to my feed.
New South Essays 