My ambivalence toward college football has reached new heights. I don’t even know how to calculate which week of the season it is, but in real time, they have been playing college football games since August 29, which was classified by ESPN as “Week 0.” (This nonsensical measurement of time is in the same category … Continue reading I can’t quit college football
When we first moved to Lilburn, Ga., way back in “aught three,” we developed a metric to identify when it would feel like home: My Darling Beloved and I knew Lilburn was home when we took our then two-year-old son, Barron, to Bruster’s for an ice cream and saw someone we knew. I can’t recall … Continue reading Seeing people you know
Last Friday night as I sat on my comfy sofa in my air conditioned house, I turned to my Darling Beloved and said, “Do you know where we would have been at this exact time four years ago?” “In a football stadium somewhere sweating to death?” “Something like that.” August is the worst climatological point … Continue reading Retired band parents
I am living a nightmare. You know the one in which you find yourself on stage or in front of a class or maybe even in a boardroom, performing, lecturing or presenting and you suddenly realize you are in your underwear, or, even worse, completely naked? (I believe the technical term is “naked as a … Continue reading In the spotlight
Carlton's senior portrait I’ll spare you the passage of time cliches and just leave it at, “I am astounded that my youngest son will begin his senior year of high school this week.” There are still many miles to go on this journey, but I cannot pretend this week doesn’t mark another significant milestone. It’s … Continue reading Back to school part one: Carlton’s senior year
During our 21st visit to the white sand beaches of Florida’s Emerald Coast along County Road 30A, I took particular interest in the daily ritual of setting up and taking down beach chairs and umbrellas. This is a young person’s task, and I am neither fit nor inclined to pursue this vocation. Once upon a … Continue reading Umbrellas and chairs
No one in the New South answers their phone any more. Well, almost no one. I have recently stumbled onto an interesting sociological discovery, and I want to test a hypothesis here and gauge your response. No one who lives in the big city answers their phone any more. Folks who live out in the … Continue reading It’s for you
I’ve been a functional human being doing just fine with my iPhone 11 for several years, but the confluence of two unfortunate events is undermining my daily operations. First, Apple released iOS 26.5. This required 18.5 GB to install. I, apparently, do not have 18.5 GB to spare on my iPhone 11. Second, my youngest … Continue reading Too many attachments
Today the future governor of Georgia turns 21. Harris Goodman Wallace was born on this date in 2005, and almost from that moment until the present, he’s been campaigning. We didn’t know it at the time, but Harris would become a middle child, heightening his need to lobby for precious resources among his brothers, like … Continue reading On the campaign trail with the birthday boy
... but I will anyway. On March 30, 2026, Barron Wallace of Lilburn, Ga., proposed marriage to Margaret "Meg" Rooney of Richmond, Va., in a rented, white Penske truck on the side of Interstate 85 just north of Greenville, S.C. She said "yes." The significance of these seemingly mundane details will be clearer momentarily, but … Continue reading It’s not my news to share…
New South Essays 