They’re bearded. They’re quotable. They’re camouflaged. They’re armed. They’re wildly popular. They are the Robertsons. Unless you manage to completely avoid all media – other than New South Essays, of course – then you have probably seen or heard about the Robertson family. The pride of West Monroe, La., the Robertsons are self-proclaimed rednecks who … Continue reading Robertsons taking the New South by storm
Tag: New South Essays
Goofy Southern Golfers: A New Tradition Unlike Any Other
Based on in-depth demographic research, I’ve determined that New South Essays readers may not know that this week is the Masters Golf Tournament in Augusta, Ga. As a public service, I am writing to let you know that this is happening , and it is important. Or at least it is to some people. Like … Continue reading Goofy Southern Golfers: A New Tradition Unlike Any Other
Pollen counts
Nothing says springtime in Atlanta like piles of facial tissues, billowing clouds of yellow dust and an encouraging addition to the weather forecast known as the pollen count. Simply defined, the pollen count is the number of grains of pollen in a cubic meter of air. It is measured by placing a silicon-covered rod outdoors … Continue reading Pollen counts
Etiquette just clogs your inbox
In the South, we are taught to thank everyone for everything, even when we don’t mean it. In the age of digital communication, Southern manners are annoying. Whether you know it or not, we are now being conditioned to say only what’s absolutely necessary. Well-mannered professionals in the New South are being encouraged to let go … Continue reading Etiquette just clogs your inbox
Bracing
You cannot bear your children’s burdens for them. On Wednesday, our 12-year-old son, Barron, began a two-year journey with orthodontia. My wife and I can commiserate, but we cannot take away the discomfort and self-consciousness. As one of my former editors used to say, it’s his bear to cross. By the grace of God and … Continue reading Bracing
My little brother the leprechaun
Tomorrow is March 17, a date that looms large for my family. No, we’re not Irish. Well, we're a little Irish, but not THAT Irish. You see, 39 years ago on St. Patrick’s Day, my little red-headed brother was born. He would end up being my first little brother, but none of us knew that … Continue reading My little brother the leprechaun
My cheatin’ foot
When you try a different hair stylist or dental hygienist, don’t you feel a little bit like you’re cheating on the relationship? Since the mid-1990s I have been buying my running shoes at Phidippides, the first-ever specialty running store which opened in 1973 in Tallahassee, Fla., and now operates at Atlanta’s Ansley Mall. Even when … Continue reading My cheatin’ foot
The Yahoo Policy
Once upon a time there was a place people went in order to complete tasks and earn a paycheck. This place was called an office. About the time commutes, family needs and office culture conspired to nearly eliminate productivity 10 or more years ago, companies began letting their employees telecommute or work from home. The … Continue reading The Yahoo Policy
Southern Oscars
Sunday night is Hollywood’s annual tribute to narcissism, hedonism and voyeurism known as the Academy Awards. In the spirit of full disclosure, I have only watched the Oscars a couple of times in my whole life, and I don’t think I’ve ever watched a complete broadcast. I have no plans to watch it this year. Depending … Continue reading Southern Oscars
More than a day
It wasn’t that long ago that a birthday was just that – a day. In the New South, however, we celebrate a person’s birthday for many, many days. I have a theory about why this is: It takes us longer to celebrate birthdays now because of geographic dispersion of family, over-stuffed schedules and the vicious … Continue reading More than a day
New South Essays 