50 years of special

On Monday, Nov. 13, 2023, Carla Barron Wallace turns 50.

There, the secret is out.

I’m just glad she has finally caught up with me because I’m tired of how eagerly she reveals my age (53) to people while insisting she’s “MUCH” younger.

Now that we’re back in the same decade, that “MUCH” is much less.

There is no better time than a significant milestone birthday to contemplate what makes a person special. When Carla and I got together, “I knowed I made a good choice,” as Mater says in the Pixar film “Cars” when he picked Lightning McQueen as his best friend.

I don’t pretend to fully understand the complexities of her mind, but I have learned to appreciate them. She is a thorough and detailed planner. She thinks of nearly every contingency, and her daily, color-coded, to-do lists are works of art. Even with her rigorous planning, though, she sees options and can be flexible in the moment. She gives her decisions much forethought but can also pivot on a dime.

Her insight is spot-on and invaluable. She earned her wisdom through experience and by paying attention. She likes to people watch, both casually and intentionally, driven by curiosity to know and understand people and their circumstances. She is a social worker by training and profession, and she practices on us. I found her observations piercing and undeniable, and she’s helped me understand myself, especially when I am engaging in an unexamined, habitual life. Nothing about Carla remains unexamined.

Her thirst for reading and story knows no bounds. It may be closely related to the curiosity about real people that I mentioned above, but she seems to be able to become just as invested in fictional characters in books, TV shows and movies. Even her escapist consumption of narratives provides her with a glimpse of the human condition from which she draws applications to better understand the world.

For Carla, knowing is caring. Her ability to know and understand people fuels her compassion. She can see people for who they are without judgment. I’ve known her to reach out to those who may be marginalized because she has empathy for their plight. This is true among peers and friends as well as those she’s come alongside to help. Her mind and her heart are connected in an uncommon way. Most of us can’t bear to understand that much about another person’s circumstances, so we turn away from those who need us most. Carla turns toward people.

She appreciates cleanliness and order. If you dropped by unannounced, our home would be as clean and inviting as if we had a month to plan for your visit. Her creativity also stays fresh and up-to-date. She did an amazing job decorating our first house in 1998, and she has kept up with the times, changing styles as she encounters new looks and new ideas. She has good taste and keeps up with shifting aesthetics.

Middle age can instigate identity crises, but I admire that she is doing work on herself. A caretaker at her core, she not only looks after Mama, keeps Carlton on track, encourages Harris, connects with Barron and supports me, she has learned to put her own oxygen mask on first. None of that is easy, but it’s particularly challenging to take care of everyone in your life AND yourself.

She appreciates humor. My ability to inspire hilarity has waned as my comedic style has inevitably slipped into bad puns and dad jokes, but her sophisticated humor palette gives her access to the best medicine when she – and those around her – need it most. The sound of her laughter does my heart good.

Carla is a remarkable woman. On the 50th anniversary of her arrival on this earth, the beauty of who she is as a person has never been more appealing. Those who truly know her will nod along with this tribute, and for those who have not yet had the pleasure, hers is a vintage improved by 50 years of life and experience.

I love Carla, and not just for all the obvious and selfish reasons. I love who she is, what made her that way and how she continues to grow. Her best years are ahead, and I’m profoundly grateful to be able to celebrate this particular year with her in the present.

Happy 50th, Carla. You are so much more significant than a number.