For 13 to 20 years the cycle of our lives includes going back to school.
Whether it was a highly anticipated or traumatic experience doesn’t matter. Back-to-school season imprints so heavily on our psyche that it dominates our thoughts and haunts our dreams even if we aren’t actually the ones going back to school.
Then we have children. Back to school takes on a whole new meaning and importance. Back to school is a joyous celebration for parents for obvious reasons, but there are many more logistics to calculate, including the impact of school buses stopping every eight feet on our morning commute to the office.
We become the ones buying the school supplies, backpacks and ironically messaged print T-shirts. We reload the school lunch account with funds or start buying the healthy lunches our offspring will inevitably trade for a candy bar or just discard. We have to make sure they are awake and dressed in time to catch the bus at an unreasonably early hour, ride carpool or be dragged in our own personal vehicle to the mile-long drop-off line.
It’s also the time when missed assignments, social conflict with peers and children’s mental health occupies the “anxiety space” in our brain that we had been using during the summer for sun overexposure, watering our plants and power outages from thunderstorms.
No matter how old you are, it’s still an incredibly important season in our year even when we aren’t the ones actually going to school.
This year is different for us.
As widely reported in this space, our oldest son, Barron, graduated from the University of Georgia in May, leaving us with just two participants in the annual rite known as back-to-school. Carlton started his sophomore year in the theater conservatory at the School of the Arts at Central Gwinnett High School on August 5. We moved Harris into his on-campus apartment at Mercer University on August 13, though classes don’t officially start until August 20.
We only had two to get ready for back to school, and it felt different. That’s when it struck me: this will all end some day. There is a point, still hazy for now but growing sharper in my focus, when I will no longer have any relationship to back-to-school season.
Who knows what the future holds, but Harris enjoys school so much, I believe he plans to go forever. Carlton has two years of high school left after this one and is talking about college, so there may be another four years after that.
It’s not close, but there is a moment when all back to school will mean to us is Facebook Memories in early August serving up endless photos of our boys on our front porch in new clothes, fresh haircuts and backpacks.
Through each season of our life, I’ve tried to be intentional about soaking it in. My parents tell me all the time that it goes by so quickly. Part of the reason it does so is that we’re too busy to appreciate it. I’m convinced it would slow down if we slowed down, or if we went to more PTA and booster meetings. Those have the power to make time stand still.
By my calculation, the first year we will no longer be going back to school with our boys is August 2031. I think we should plan a beach vacation for that week to combat the inherent sadness of moving out of that phase of life. It will certainly cost less than when we go the week of July 4.
As long as I work in higher education, I think back to school will always be a part of my life whether it’s my children or someone else’s I’m preparing for. My current employer, Oglethorpe University, welcomes first year students on August 23. Move-in Day is always a hot, sweaty experience, but it’s one of the most fun days of the whole academic year.
I recognize the emotions and anxieties the parents are feeling dropping their kids off at college for the first time. I feel an incredible sense of empathy and responsibility. They’re moving through their own journey of back-to-school cycles, and it will end for them at some point, too.
The end of back to school will come for Carla and me one day, and we will celebrate. For now, though, we have approximately seven more years to savor. I don’t know how I’ll feel when we’re down to one participant, but I do think getting all of our boys through school will be a huge relief, one of the biggest checkmarks on one of life’s biggest tasks.
Oh, wait… there could be grandkids who go to school at some point. Back-to-school season never ends.
New South Essays 
Too true to be too funny! When Rachel lived with me the two years after Jay left her, I experienced the first day of school twice. Great experience with grands! My son and his wife homeschooled their four so first day of school was different every year and I had a hard time keeping upl Still interesting and now that they are mostly grown, one is 8, they have all three done the dual enrollment with high school and college. Their daughter is 20 and has left home, living in Gainesvillle, 20 miles from home. and has an associates degree from UNG. She is an orthodontic dental hygienist. Mallorie graduated UGA the same day Barron did; Emily is in her junior year at Tech. Mallorie plans to work at Disney World through February. She will go there the end of August. Vic’s next to the oldest will graduate in December from UNG before he turns 19 in February. Quin, Vic’s third child, begins his dual journey at UNG now. He is 15. All way too young or I am very old! Quin loves to play his guitar like his father at that age. Vic says he plays better than Vic did at that age, he says. I endured the noise of Vic’s playing and Quin plays his softly!! And I am OLD!
Good writing as usual Lance!