When a species has a specific geographical location in its name, it’s just common sense that the species would call that place home.
I’m not clear if “Tasmanian Devil” is a whole species or just the one on the Bugs Bunny cartoons, but I am clear that I have never seen one outside of Tasmania. Of course, I have never been to Tasmania, and I’m not sure I could find it on a map, but that’s beside the point.
Geographically specific animals often crop up in the naming of athletic teams. But let’s not be confused by sports. Just to be clear, “Chicago Bears” are an underperforming NFL football team, not a species of bear native to the Chicagoland area.
Lately I’ve been contemplating the Canada goose. Yes, it’s “Canada goose” and not “Canadian goose” or “Candanadian goose,” which is not a real place but is still my personal favorite name for the large, gray waterfowl with a black head and beak and white markings.
By its name you would think this large and sometimes aggressive bird would only be found in Candanadia… er… Canada, but I’m afraid, like so many other northern transplants who have made the New South their home, they have taken up residence in large numbers in the Greater Atlanta Metropolitan Area.
If you live around here, and by “here” I mean the white-hot, action-packed center of the universe that is the Atlanta suburb of Lilburn (AKA “Thrillburn), then you have grown so accustomed to seeing this water fowl that you may begin to question the locational accuracy of its name.
Traffic is routinely delayed around here on account of these gooses waddling across the road. My mother-in-law has become uncharacteristically irritable with these majestic birds, decrying in one such encounter while trying to make it to church on time, “Get out of the road with your fancy selves.” This, of course, is now an oft-repeated refrain in our family.
I have been encountering the Canada goose on my early morning runs and walks for years, and it’s finally reached a tipping point. I’m encountering them so frequently I finally decided to learn more about this year-round Georgia bird.
Turns out, it’s not just our vivid Southern imaginations. The Canada goose is no longer migratory in and around north Georgia. So what happened with the Canada goose and what are we supposed to do about it?
As with all of my wildlife questions, I turned to the Georgia Department of Natural Resources (DNR) for answers. They validated my perception that the Canada goose is on the loose in Georgia. The folks in the ranger hats and starched, snake-bite-proof khakis say the Canada goose was once – and still is – migratory. They also said a significant population have become “residents” of Georgia because of our temperate climate, low taxes, good paying jobs and Southern hospitality. OK, you got me. It’s mostly the climate part.
Now before you go getting your feathers ruffled because I used the word “climate,” which used to be just a word before politicians made us fight each other over it, the ranger hat people say the goose from Canada likes what we’re doing here in Georgia. So whether or not the climate has changed isn’t really my point today. What’s observable fact is that we got gooses living around here full time when they used to just fly over us, or at least stopover temporarily.
Turns out, this is actually a time of year that is significant for our goose population. In the spring, they nest and lay eggs. If you come up on them, they may be aggressive because they’re defending their nest. In late spring when they’ve got young’uns in tow, they will defend their babies against such threats as coyotes, bobcats and middle aged dudes walking their poodles.
They walk around a bunch during the summer because they’re molting, which is not your uncle’s mispronunciation of “melting” in describing Georgia summer heat, as in, “Crank up the AC, I’m molting in here.”
Molting is an actual biological thing in which the goose sheds its feathers for new feathers. This is why in May and June they waddle around more than they fly around, and they leave feathers all over the place making Cub Scouts on forced hikes think they found an eagle feather when it’s actually just a goose feather.
See how much we’ve learned today? But my original point still stands: these geese may have originally come from Canada, but they are clearly Atlanta residents now. I propose an official name change more appropriate to their lifestyle preferences.
Henceforth and forever, (or until they move again,) the “Canada goose” shall be known as the “Atlanta goose.” I’ll have my attorneys draw up the trademark paperwork. Remember, you heard it here first at New South Essays.
Be sure to keep an eye out for our feathered friends. Give them a wide berth this time of year when they have children and are molting.
The ranger hat and khaki people say it this way: If you don’t bother them, they won’t bother you. Besides, they’re too fancy to be trifling with you common folk.
New South Essays 